SEXUAL MASSAGE TECHNIQUES

Sexual Massage Techniques by Gabrielle Moore A sexual massage is just something I LOVE to receive from my partner. It always relaxes my body and my mind, and never fails to stir my center till I’m all wet and ready to have mind-blowing sex! I’m sure you want your woman to feel this too so I’m going to give you some basic sexual massage moves you can do tonight. Ready? How to Give Your Woman a Sexual Massage In addition to ensuring that you have the right environment (i.e., a quiet room, a well-laid out bed or place on the floor, etc.) and equipment (e.g. scented candles, massage oils, etc.), consider making use of fabric or items made of silk, satin and velvet as well. All these different textures can help bring about different reactions from her. If you don’t have them, don’t worry. Nothing can beat the best part of this sexual massage session: you. Firstly, ask your woman to undress (or better yet, undress her). Another tip here to ensure good hygiene is to give her a warm bath first. Either way, once she’s nude, have her lie face down on the area you prepared for the massage. While she has her back to you, undress as well. Use your hot breath. Make sure your body and hands are not cold and then lie on top of her (you facing the back of her head). Support your weight on your arms (don’t crush her!). This move does three things: it signals the start of the sexual massage by applying pressure on her whole body; it helps to warm her body and prepare it for the massage; and it starts to introduce sexual thoughts into her head because she can feel your penis between her thighs. Now don’t get carried away here and start sex. Proceed with the sexual massage and you will be rewarded as the sexual tension builds up! Now, start to breath on her neck and her back. Your hot breath should stimulate her sensitive skin. Use your fingertips. Now, pull yourself up and straddle her thighs (your penis resting between the backs of her legs), put some warm oil on your hands and start to massage her back with just your fingertips. Alternate your strokes. Apply hard, pressured ones with light touches. Palm circling. Progress from using your fingers to ‘palm circling’, which is basically massaging her back by applying the whole width of your hand. This is a firmer technique that helps her body really relax. As a general rule, never massage her on the bones. Place the palms of both your hands on her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her spine. Gliding. Scoot yourself lover down her body. You buttocks should be by her feet now. Now reach to the top of her shoulders and start doing the palm circling massage… but this time, glide down to her ass and start massaging there too. After a few strokes, you can be naughtier with this one. Reach to the top of her shoulders again but this time, keep your head low so that your face is right in front of her ass. (Like kneeling and bowing to someone.) You can do the palm circling again while breathing hot and heavy against her ass. A slight – and naughtier variation – would be to lick her ass instead of breathing your hot breathe on it WHILE palm circling her back. (Hey, don’t forget the massage part even while you’re busy sexually arousing her.) Thumbing. Go back to straddling her thighs, sitting up now, and use your thumbs to massage her lower back. You should make short, rapid, alternate strokes with each thumb, moving up and across her ass toward her waist. Continue up the right-hand side of her body all the way to the shoulders. Repeat this on the left side of her body and finish off by going back and concentrating again on her lower back (just above her butt). Now for the sexual part… continue to thumb massage her while your hands move slowly down her butt. Part her crack and start to thumb massage her anus. She will try to squirm here but be firm! If she can take it, alternate between this massage and breathing your hot breathe on her anus. Repeat all these back massages as long as you want! Just remember to oil up often as the warm oil and the gliding effect of your skin on hers does a lot of sexual magic! If you want to know more you can continue here

Have you ever wondered why your man does the things he does?

Have you ever wondered why your man does the things he does?

My friend Randy Bennett explains in his latest article below exactly why men do 

some of the strange things that they do.

But more importantly, he details how you can use this knowledge to get your man to 

treat you better - and wake him up to the amazing woman he has right in front of 

him - YOU!

Randy's a licensed relationship expert, with 25 years of experience counseling 

successful couples - so I think he probably knows what he's talking about.

Did you ever wonder why men do some of the CRAZY things they do? Did you ever 

feel completely puzzled by your man's behavior?

If it seems like sometimes his behavior is completely weird or irrational, don't feel 

bad... because you're exactly right.

You see, science teaches us that while some of our desires and drives are conscious, 

many of them are not. This is ESPECIALLY true for men.

While most men would NEVER admit this (most don't even know it), some of their 

behaviors, drives, and desires are biologically driven.

Why Sometimes Men Don't Have a Choice...

In other words, in some areas, men don't have a choice. They are simply "wired" a 

certain way.

This is why he can seem considerate and thoughtful one moment, and callous and 

cold a few seconds later. 

This is why sometimes you're caught off-guard by his unexpected harsh words, or 

cold behavior. It's why you're sometimes left feeling as if he "pulled the rug out from 

under you".

But don't worry. None of this is an excuse to let him get away with stupid behavior. 

In fact, it's a key to getting what you want from your man.

To Get What You Want from Your Man, Understand This...

Change starts when we recognize the simple biological differences between men 

and women. For instance....

Women generally want connection and family: they define themselves by their 

relationships.

They have the nurturing instinct, the need to take care of others and maintain the 

health and wellness of the people they care for.

Men, however, generally identify themselves by what they do: they want to be 

providers.

A man has a need to take care of the family and be the breadwinner. It is a 

subconscious need -- most men are not even aware that they have this need or drive.

While men have many of these subconscious drives, there are at least five basic 

needs that all men have deep within themselves; if any of these needs are not being 

met, it will cause problems in your relationship.

The 5 Basic Needs that ALL Men Have...

What are these needs? They are: 

1. Words of affirmation and praise. 

2. A sense of being respected.

3. The feeling that he is being listened to and heard. 

4. Physical touch. (This doesn't necessarily mean sex, but rather affection.) 

5. Intimacy and bonding (yes, believe it or not!)

All you have to do is meet these five basic needs, and meet them consistently, to see 

your relationship transformed right before your eyes.

Meeting these needs gives you a great deal of influence with your man -- he'll be 

willing to do almost ANYTHING you ask, at the drop of a hat, because you have 

suddenly become the source of most of the good feelings he's having about his life. 

He may not even realize what's happening.

The best part is, this is "ethical influence" because you're meeting his most basic 

psychological needs. Not wants, but needs. It's as if you are nourishing his soul.

And what do YOU get out of the deal? The man you want -- the man who adores you, 

shows true affection towards you, and puts you ahead of everything else in his life.

I wish you the best,

P.S.  A man's brain and behavior can be tough to predict, but I've identified a set of 

secret triggers, that when accessed, will wake him up so he's more interested in 

what YOU are saying than in the darn remote control.

By using a particular set of words and phrases - triggers that set off new patterns in 

his brain - you will cause your man to automatically... see you... hear you... 

UNDERSTAND you...

... to listen without criticizing, and let you share your feelings without trying to "fix" 

you.  And the best part is that I figured out how to do this without trickery, 

manipulation, begging, or drama.

If you want to know more you can continue here

Two Important Marriage Questions Answered

Among the numerous consultation emails we get daily, we’ve come across a couple of marriage questions that we’ve been seeing recently.  If anything, these common concerns are unhappy marriage signs which indicate that many couples are struggling with key issues.

That being said, we’d like to share our thoughts on these matters:

#1: “What Causes Cheating?”

To begin with, it’s dangerous for couples to think that they’re beyond the danger of infidelity.  Under the right circumstances, any spouse can be driven to cheat.

In general, the risk of cheating grows bigger when there is something vital is lacking in the marriage.  A sharp plunge in intimacy for example, is one of the unhappy marriage signs that serves as an ideal breeding ground for infidelity.

When someone is deprived of something that was once abundant, it’s human nature to seek an alternate source.  For some, this means having to break their wedding vows.

The spouse who is doing the cheating is often willing to go though the incredible effort of hiding the affair because in their mind, the benefits outweigh the risks.  For them, it’s much easier to recapture the feeling of romance which has faded away in their marriage.

Plus, having an affair offers an avenue for a person to vent their frustrations by way of their lover.  In fact, infidelity usually begins when one of the distressed spouses resort to telling a friend of the opposite sex about their marital woes.

This is a very real risk that any couple has to deal with; if left unchecked, the hurting partner could very well develop feelings towards his or her confidant.

#2: How Can We Communicate Better?

Based on our experience in helping couples, this  specific issue is often interconnected to the problem of infidelity.

When spouses begin to argue in a way that doesn’t allow them to properly express their feelings, their communication style usually degenerates to an attack on each other’s character.

Think about it – if your arguments don’t allow you to amicably settle your differences and simply turn into an exchange of hurtful insults, you’re definitely bound to drift apart.  One of the most common unhappy marriage signs is when a couple argues just to tear each other down – and not to resolve their issues.

The lack of a constructive outlet for feelings will form a gap wide enough to create the perfect opportunity to fall in love with someone else.

The good news is that there are things you can do today to prevent potential disasters tomorrow.  For example, spouses need to make a shared and conscious effort to work through their disagreements in a civilized manner.

While that sounds easier in print as opposed to actually doing it, you’ll find that getting into the habit of good communication goes a long way in the bigger picture.

A good approach is to focus on telling your partner about how you feel regarding a given issue instead of directly accusing them of whatever it is that’s stressing you out.

However, be open-minded enough to hear out your partner when it’s their turn to discuss their feelings.  In the long run, you’ll come to appreciate the benefits of making this subtle but powerful adjustment in your communication style as a couple.

All in all, the answer to the two marriage questions we just discussed rests on a basic truth: marital problems don’t pop up out of the blue.

Rather, they start out tiny, much like a seed taking root over time.  The more a couple “nurtures” these “small” issues with neglect and complacence, the bigger they’ll grow over time.

Unhappy marriage signs shouldn’t be ignored.  Otherwise, the small conflicts swept under the rug will eventually grow too big to be overlooked.

Indeed, a lot of marriages are undermined by the unseen threat of problems left to fester in plain sight.  And when the so-called elephant in the room becomes to big to ignore, the relationship suffers as a result.

So really, major problems start out as “small” issues which can snowball into an avalanche of headaches if they aren’t nipped in the bud.  The key to doing this is through preventive daily habits which can be adapted to keep you from running into future problems.

As such, we hope that the points we’ve covered will inspire you to look into additional ways to maintain the health of your marriage.

Remember, the most important part of the solution is taking that first step towards improvement.

If you want to know more you can continue here

Change Your Attitude & Change Your Marriage

Do I have your attention? Are you thinking I am blaming you for your marriage?

That is not my intention. The reality is, though, that you are searching for help with your marriage. So, there is nothing I can do about your spouse, but there may be something I can do to help you change, or even save, your marriage.

I constantly hear cries of “it’s not my fault,” or “there’s nothing I can do.” That misses the fact that in any situation, there are two sides contributing to the problems at hand. It may be that your spouse is the primary problem. But honestly, I always see that there are two sides.

In fact, I have come to see relationships like algebra (no math lesson here, as it is certainly not my favorite subject, but I want to make a point). In algegra, there are always two sides to an equation. And both sides are held together by an “equals” sign. One side must equal the other. Make a shift on one side and you must make the same shift on the other side. In other words, both sides must be kept balanced and equal.

The same is true in marriage. If one person makes a shift, the other person must make a shift, just to keep the relationship equation in balance.

You may have already tried making shifts, and become increasingly frustrated that you can’t seem to do anything that makes a difference.

I would submit to you that there is one fundamental shift you can make that will change the relationship: your attitude. One of my favorite writers was Viktor Frankl, survivor of the concentration camps. And my favorite quote from him is “The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.”

We tend to give up that freedom. We allow the other person to change and affect our attitude. Often, in the midst of a crisis, we find that we have lost our natural attitude and have become something we are not. It is always possible to choose to correct this.

Let me be more clear: you can choose your attitude. If you do not, the attitude will choose you, and it will likely be negative, short-sighted, ego-centric, and incorrect. A choice in attitude can lead us to hopefulness, patience, understanding, love, respect, and creativity.

Some helpful attitudes:

An attitude of Forgiveness. We can choose to take on an attitude of forgiveness, and simply let our spouse “off the hook” for every small transgression. I am not saying that you just forget major issues. In fact, forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is not allowing the actions to hold you emotionally hostage anymore. More specifically, forgiveness is letting go so that YOU do not have to carry it around. And too often, it is the small issues that do the most damage, the daily “slights” that we build up until we see the other person as 

despicable.

An attitude of Acceptance. What would it mean to accept your spouse, just like he or she is? No more attempts to change, either directly or by manipulation, your spouse into what you want. You simply accept him or her for who he or she is. That would be a great gift. . . and is the start of true love.

An attitude of Respect. Let’s face it: when we live intimately with someone, we see them at their weakest. Sometimes, we see only the weakness and stop seeing the greatness. We, in essence, lose respect. But what if you focused on their strengths, their gifts, their quirkiness, and decided to extend respect? That may revolutionize your relationship.

An attitude of Civility. I was recently listening to a recording about providing good customer service. The expert suggested you remember what has been done to you. Do the things you liked, don’t do the things you didn’t like. (Sounds a great deal like the Golden Rule!) That would be civility. Don’t like to be yelled at? Don’t yell. Like to be treated lovingly? Treat lovingly. You get the idea.

Think of it this way: if you do not take back control of your own attitude, someone else gets to control it. And from what I see on a daily basis, when we do this, we are always on the losing end of the deal! We are much better off assuming control than being controlled. Your attitude is yours. Treat is as such!

So, if you want to change your marriage, start with your attitude. You can probably think of many other attitudes you could choose. Go do it! Transform your marriage!

If you want to know more you can continue here

Valentine’s Day Chaos

Last week I sent a message to my email subscribers asking for their biggest questions about how to make Valentine’s day as romantic, special and sexy with their partners as possible . . .

I got about 150 questions dumped on me all at once . . . here’s answers to the most common (and a few of the “best” ones) for your reading pleasure:

Peter Asks:

“What’s the best way to ask a girl you have just been dating for a Valentine’s date?

If I don’t it will seem I don’t care and if I do does it show I care too much?”

Great question, Peter. My girlfriend and I were actually in a similar position this time last year. We’d met, gotten slightly goggly eyed for each other and started dating in late December/Early January and when the big “V” day came up we both felt the sword of romantic Damocles hanging over our heads.

Here’s what I recommend:

1. Don’t go over the top with the romance. A single flower is good, an overwhelming bouquet will just scream stalker.

2. Ask her to do something “fun” but not “formal” (no slinky dresses and expensive dinners.)

Send her a message saying something like “Hey, it’s Valentine’s day on Monday and even though we’ve just been dating a short time, I’d really like to spend it with you. Want to play the romance game with me?”

And go from there. But keep it light and fun and make sure you acknowledge that it’s too early for the two of you to be “in love.”

LongLiberty asks:

“How do you best handle V day when you have to work that night?”

Jobs suck. Especially on the “most romantic day of the year.” (OK, personally I think Valentine’s day is a bit of a sham. You’re much better off being romantic with your partner throughout the year instead of front loading everything on one commercialized holiday . . .
BUT it’s important that your wife/girlfriend knows you care about her on V day if only so she can brag to her friends.

If you have to work, you have to work.

So here’s what I recommend:

1. Plan something special for the two of you either the day before or the day after Valentine’s. It doesn’t have to be anything “crazy” but make sure she gets some “special time” with you.

2. Plant a small, sexy or sweet gift somewhere in the house where she’s not going to find it.

On Valentine’s day, when you’re at work send her this message:

“Happy Valentine’s day, honey. I love you so much. I’d give anything to be there with you right now, holding you in my arms and showing you how much I care for you. Go into the bedroom and look behind my dresser . . . “

And behind the dresser you should have something sweet. Options would be a single flower, a letter you wrote (not a store-bought card. Those suck) a Teddy Bear, something naughty (depends what you’re into) etc.

If you want to get more creative you could even make a multi-step scavenger hunt out of it where you have her going around the house discovering romantic gifts while you’re away. She’ll love it.

DD asks . . .
My wife and I have been married 30 years now and she’s sort of into a rut of
going out to dinner and a card for both of us. No chocolates (figure) and other
typical stuff. So, the day sort of comes and goes and we drop some big bucks on
the restaurant of her choice and that’s it. Ho hum.

What can I do to spice things up?”

This won’t endear me to the “1-800-Flowers” of the world, but personally I think having to take a second mortgage on your home just to show a woman (or a man) that you love them is incredibly dumb.

So I’m not going to tell you to buy some fancy jewelry, get her some slamming dress or anything like that.

What you need to do instead is “break the rut” with your wife. And that means taking control a bit and using CURIOSITY to get her motor running.

So . . .

On Sunday or Monday send her a text saying something like . . .

“So tomorrow night . . . “

She’ll write back saying something about dinner.

You respond saying “No, I’ve cancelled dinner. I’ve got a surprise for you . . . “

No matter how much she asks, don’t tell her what the surprise is.

On Monday, send her texts during the day telling teasing her about the night and your plans for her.

Things like . . .

“I want you to come home at 6. Go right into the bedroom and close your eyes . . .”

Or something.

Now, what IS the surprise? That’s really up to you. One trick I’ve used successfully is teasing her like crazy during the day, having her lie down and then treating her to a hour long massage. It’s even better if you don’t say anything the entire time.

But whatever you do, take the “boring dinner and card” off the table.

Holly asks . . .
I think Valentine’s Day is overrated.What do you suggest for a fun,but relaxed
date?

Burritos and “The Secretary.”

More seriously:

Skip the flowers, candy and uncomfortable heels and spend some time getting to know your partner.

Each of you writes 5 questions on pieces of paper about things you want to know about your partner. Any question will do though “do I look fat in this dress” shouldn’t be on there.

Have some take out, make out for a while and randomly draw questions and answer them honestly. Turn off the damn TV and connect like people. Simple. Cheap. Fun.

Layth asks:
hi mike. Theres this girl i want to ask to be my valentime but i’m not sure how. . . We talk all of the time and i know she likes me. Just not sure how to get the guts. Can you help? Thanks

So what is the best way to make Valentine’s day sex seem any better than another night of the week?

One word antici…pation.

OK, it’s two words when I write it like that.

A woman’s biggest erogenous zone is her mind. You need to spend all day heating her up and making her look forward to a truly mind blowing experience with you.

“When you get home, I’m going to . . .”

“You have no idea how much trouble you’re in tonight . . . “

“You’ll feel this shudder in your body as I . . . “

Etc. It’s really all about the BUILD UP. And when you do come together, you need to ignore your masculine impulse to “dive right in” and really take time to SAVOR your woman.

Kiss her. Touch her. Seduce her. Look into her eyes. TALK to her (in a low and sexy voice.) Narrate EXACTLY how you’re touching her and how she’s reacting.

Take it slooooow . . .

Believe me, it’ll be special.

Charlton asks
My wife and I are separated. She left me. What’s the best thing I can do for
her on Feb 14? Ignore her, give her something little (ie. card, momento), or
do something very noticeable so she doesn’t forget?

I get a LOT of questions about the Ex.

Here’s what I’d recommend. Whatever you do, do NOT go overboard on Vday. It’ll be creepy and make it a really hard day for her.

Instead, send her a text or card that says something like . . .

“Happy Valentine’s day. I was thinking of the many good times we had and the love we shared and it put a smile on my face and made my heart beat a little faster. No matter what happens, I’ll always be a little in love with you.”

And that’s it.

Short and sweet and nothing else that day.

If she wants any more from you, after receiving this she’ll let you know.

Janis asks
My better half is a store manager and he works out of town, so I’m goning to spend time with him valentine’s day, but he said he can’t take the whole day off, tell me if the trip is worth takeing.

Valentine’s day isn’t a real holiday. It was made up by crooks, liars and marketers. So there’s no reason that YOUR Valentine’s day has to be the same as everyone else’s.

Pick a day your man doesn’t have to work and spend some time building up to something special on that day. If he has to work he’s just going to be stressed that whole day.

SOMEBODY asks . . .

Valentines Day is just around the corner… my girlfriend and I recently broke off our relationship (her choice) after a very quick moving two months of dating. We speak once in a while via text messaging and email. She’s confused as to whether we should get back together or not. My question… should I at least send her a Valentines card, or do more, or nothing at all?

This is similar to the Ex-wife thing from above.

Send a message that says . . .

“I know you’re confused right now and aren’t sure what to do, but I just wanted to let you know how much I care about you. Hope you’re having a wonderful day.”

And leave it at that.

Ken asks . . .

I think i’m in love with my best friend. We get along so well I’ve never got along with anyone as well as I do with her.I’m afraid that if I tell her it will somehow ruen things. But I find myself thinking about her all the time.
The things I have with her is the way I know it’s suppose to be…HELP”

DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!

OK, Ken, two things.

1. You SHOULD tell her how you feel . . .
but
2. You SHOULD NOT tell her how you feel on VALENTINE’S DAY. It’s just too much pressure and too much cheese for any one woman to take. Let the “Big V” pass, wait another week or two and then sit down with her and plainly tell her how you feel.

I can’t say how she’ll react, but confidence and directness are sexy.

Flavia asks . . .
Thanks Mike,
My bigest pazzle this valentines is how am going to handle it. We work
distances apart and only meet friday to sunday.
Just chacked the callendar and found that Valentines’ is a monday!!
Please advise

Like I said a minute ago, Valentines’ day is a total scam. Really, it’s a “Hallmark Holiday” and there’s no reason why Feb 14th has to be YOUR Valentine’s day.

Give your partner the best weekend you possibly can. Rock their world. Paint a grin on their face so wide they look like the Joker (or not.)

And then on Monday send them “Time Machine” texts making them remember all the juicy, romantic, sexy, wonderful moments.

hey mike!. at this point, i’m the *online girlfriend.* we talk several times/day via email and phone. it’s smokin’. lots and lots of *naughty talk!* he gets worried if he doesn’t hear from me for one day! here’s the problem. so far, he has hinted a couple of times about a visit. how do i jumpstart the process and get him to come meet me? and do i mention valentine’s day at all or leave it up to him?

frustrated in ontario!

Tease him like crazy with “if you were here” messages. Don’t be afraid to get sensual and even a little bit dirty.

Sam asks:

My wife told me when we first got together that she never expects flowers because they die but I see how she responds when her friends get flowers and I want to get some for her. Do you think this is a good idea?

It’s not the flowers that are causing her to feel that way, it’s the sentiment. What can you send her BESIDES flowers that will make her melt? What is she really into?

“how propse a girl on Valentine’s day in sweet n simple manner”

Have a simple dinner. Spend time together. Make love. And then look her in the eye and say “I love you so much. Let’s make this forever.”

“What can I do to have the most romantic velentines without spending to much?”
OK, I’ve been waiting for one like this:

Get a really nice card (a blank one).

Inside write “This card is redeemable for 12 hours of my complete and undivided attention. No phone. No TV. No nothing. I’m yours.”

Watch as she melts into the carpet and pounces on you like you’re a steak.

Klaus asks:

Hi, Mike!

“I’m living in Munich, Germany and partly also in Budapest,Hungary where my
sweetheart lives. I’ll send her flowers and a special email. Do think that’s okey?
(I like your writings)”

Yup.

More specifically, “HELL YES.”

Make sure you send her a DETAILED message and that you let her know how you’d SHOW her how much you care if you were able to be there.

“My question is how do you get your wife to want to get into what would be the gift I would like most: her in some sexy lingerie?”

It’s all about intention. If you focus on her doing something FOR you, you’ll fail every time. If you focus on the lingerie being something that she does for BOTH of you (and that she feels beautiful and wanted wearing) you’ll get what you desire. (And a lot more.)

So, this is my question about Valentines. It seems there is so much expectation
around it. How do I let her know I really care, and avoid doing stuff,
anything, out of a place of ‘she’s expecting this’?

Any thoughts?

Bob S

Many thoughts, Bob. Many many many.

Here’s the deal: What your woman wants more than anything else is to feel desired, sexy, beautiful, loved and romanced. Uncreative folks do that with flowers and candy. You need to do it with words and actions.

Read through the rest of this post and pick and choose your favorites.

Remember, Love is a CHOICE we make every day, and Romance is NOT about spending a bunch of money and buying STUFF.

Yes, yes, it’s nice to get flowers, Jewelry and things like that. But you can’t “buy your way into someone’s heart.” (Well, you can for some people’s hearts but those aren’t people you want anyway.

Instead, a great Valentine’s day (or any day) is built around the little actions and messages you send . . . the moments when you look into her eyes . . . the seconds when he feels your nails lightly on his neck . . . the minutes when you both sit and feel satisfied and loved.

If you want to know more you can continue here